Ask jokes. Two Tomatoes. Get ready to laugh until you cry with this collection of 75 hilarious jokes that are both clever and thought-provoking, suitable for all ages! May 16, 2024 · Jokes. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. 42. Search. These short jokes are perfect for when you need a fast, funny quip. 63 Aug 12, 2019 · Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up. He took one look and told me they all looked that way and to put it back in the garden. Peter and the Three Nurses”. The boss asks him, “What do you think is your worst quality?”. Aug 7, 2022 · Siri is a digital assistant which streamlines a variety of tasks. A man is walking in the desert with his horse and his dog when the dog says, “I can’t do this. “You didn’t ask, but your well-wisher said that. Q: What are a monster’s favorite pets? A: Creepy crawlies. rd. It's based on an attempt to poke fun at a linguistic characteristic of a minority dialect. You’ll laugh out loud at these other corny jokes about animals. The first says, “I’ll have a beer. The bartender, saying nothing and looking disdainful, points to a sign clearly labelled: NO JOKES SERVED HERE. 4 days ago · Yo mama is so dirty, she makes mud look clean. Every time I told them people laugh, no matter age or condition. Enjoy your well-deserved break!”. What did one eye say to the other? "Between you and me, something smells. ” “My brothers are still alive,” the Irishman says. COM, GETTY IMAGES. A man and his family are staying at a hotel. Balls is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk with lipstick all over your face and the scent of women's perfume all over Apr 28, 2022 · The guy gets to the bar, and his friends ask why he’s so late. Kids are natural comedians, they love telling jokes and laughing at even the silliest stories. Whether you’re looking for something tricky, hard or easy let these riddles for adults (with answers) challenge you. . Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. The man asks the employee at the front desk if the adult channels are disabled. Even young children enjoy the structure of joke-telling; the setup, the unexpected punchline, then laughing out loud together! Kids can Aug 16, 2023 · Siri Easter eggs: Jokes. Jan 3, 2023 · Funny Questions to ask to Get to know someone more in a FUN way. Yo Mama so short she has to hold a sign up that says, "Don't spit, I can't swim. "Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2. Nov 5, 2021 · 42. The second says, “I’ll have half a beer. Aug 31, 2023 · A: Anything with boos. Using Humor to Improve Relationships and Fill Up your FREE Time. Jan 2, 2024 · As yet, AI isn't very good at humor; just try asking ChatGPT to create some original Christmas cracker jokes if you want to see how truly bad it is. If they have avocados, get 6. A boooootique! — u/rawritsxreptar. Embrace age-defying humor and let loose your happy chemicals along with your friends by laughing together at the best jokes ever! Dec 20, 2022 · The best good, clean, nice Y o Mama jokes can make someone’s whole week better. May 25, 2021 · 105 Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember. Pop Culture Reference? Alexa Knows Them Too! 49. What's a ghost's favourite kind of store?. Have you ever Feb 16, 2024 · 1. But let’s start with the basics: What are Ligma jokes? A ligma joke is a type of prank where someone sets up an unsuspicious person to ask “What’s ligma?” leading to the punchline “Ligma balls” (Lick Jan 22, 2024 · Bring a ladder. PT. I have a very secure job. We’ve assembled plenty of things to ask Alexa, and you better believe that the virtual assistant’s answers and replies to those queries are hilarious! Below, take a look at over 100 funny things to ask Alexa and the unexpected answers provided by Amazon’s virtual Where is Jennifer's husband? Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. So break out the clean jokes next time you need a laugh. Don't Ask Who Joe Is refers to a series of memes made with a goal to lure viewers into inquiring who Joe is, with the author or other commenters then following with "Joe Mama" or similar humorous responses. Alexa, make me laugh. Why did the police officer go to the bakery? Oct 6, 2021 · When the bartender serves him, he says, “I see you didn’t order a beer for one of your brothers. Yo Mama so small she has to slam-dunk her bus fare. Nicole Fornabaio/Rd. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5 (D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. Jan 17, 2023 · Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Enjoy the following knock-knock jokes. The post says “AnyJuan interested come to the audition this Monday. A big list of can i ask you something jokes, submitted and ranked by users. That sounds like a sticky situation! 8. 2. Subscribe; My Bookmarks; Feb 14, 2023 · Funny Things to Ask Alexa. “Signing off to pursue my true passion – sampling the weekend’s brunch menu. For more funny one-liner jokes, check out these self-professed anti-jokes. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. A man walks into a library and orders fish and chips. These include general information, sending messages, making calls, taking notes, playing music, navigating while driving, and much Oct 5, 2019 · 30) Never argue with a fool, they will lower you to their level, and then beat you with experience. Dentist: “You need a crown. But don't forget their one-of-a-kind sense of humor, known as dad jokes. I am over 18. Q: Alexa, tell me a “yo mama” joke. My kids love jokes! After this, you’ll want to head over to our May 31, 2023 · READ THIS NEXT: 183 Jokes for Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. Try some of these funny Jun 2, 2023 · Whether you're looking for one-liners, setups, punchlines, anti-jokes or cheesy responses to kid quetions, these are the best dad jokes for kids and adults. But, we have to say, even the biggest groaners are a little funnier when coming from a smart speaker. For example, if you want a joke about some movie you like, then simply say ‘Alexa, tell me a joke about this movie’. —–. He tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they tried out. I need water. He asks the female whale “let’s both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship. I went to the dermatologist with a scary-looking mole. The man says, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue. Alexa, tell me a dad joke. Oct 22, 2021 · These are the 176 best and funniest corny dad jokes for any occasion, according to a comedian and instructor at the Second City comedy club. (Plus Random Joke Button!) 1 Apr 2024. Yo mama's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear. Alexa, what’s the first rule of Fight Club? Here are some funny things to say to Siri on your iPhone, iPad, HomePod or Watch if you want some hilarious answers, Siri jokes, pop culture references and Christmas related questions. Q: What did people say when the Headless Horseman started dating a zombie? A: He’s lost his head! Q: What is a Aug 18, 2023 · 13. 22. The man says, “I didn’t know dogs could talk. A rich man is one who isn’t afraid to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper. Our AI algorithm will analyze the text and generate a detailed explanation of the joke's punchline, helping you to fully understand and appreciate the humor. ”. "What is your mutant power?" Girl replies: "I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try!" She points up and says: "3 pulls" Professor X stands up and pulls 3 times. With our user-friendly interface and state-of-the-art 101 Work Jokes for the Joke of the Day. A: If Chuck Norris wants you to know where he is, he’ll find you. Alexa, nobody puts Baby in the corner. Nov 11, 2020 · We have the funniest nurse jokes to make you feel a little bit lighter. One day, a mother sends her son to market to get some groceries. Kathleen Reardon (Author) – Susan Ericksen (Narrator) A Priest, Rabbi and Atheist walk into a bar and each ask for a drink. Be Careful Jokes - 85 Hilarious Be Careful Jokes. Playing a game like would you rather is another way to get a good laugh. What did the man say when he woke up in the morning to find he had turned into a cat? He said, “Don’t ask meow it happened. The librarian says, "this is a library. Why did the cats ask for a drum set? They wanted to make some mewsic! 2. Alexa, where’s yo mama? 43. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. Patient: I think I want a second opinion. What is a dad joke, you ask? The meaning is simple: It's a pun, one-liner, or knock-knock joke that is so bad it's funny, often told by a dad or father figure. A man marches into a magic forest with a saw and sets about cutting down a talking tree. 8 min read. 9. 29. Mexican and Black jokes are pretty much the same. But the point is, sometimes we need to laugh at the bad things life throws at us with a well-delivered dark joke, even though those around us may find it offensive. Dreaming of a peaceful weekend!”. 441 Friend Jokes to Crack at Your Next Get-Together - Naturally Funny. Jun 4, 2021 · Alexa, E. My condolences on your loss. Alexa - Tell me a Haiku. Jan 3, 2023 · But there are some jokes that you do not have to be a professional to understand, like this very funny jokes. Alexa, knock knock. Both "ask" and "axe" are homophonous. May 23, 2024 · Trick questions put your thinking skills to the test—and we have 125 of the most confusing, tricky and hard questions with answers! A big list of boss jokes, submitted and ranked by users. 1. Sarah is a lifestyle and entertainment reporter for TODAY May 20, 2024 · That’s why I’ve put together this list of 32+ witty comebacks for “who asked” and “did I ask. Alexa, how do you make babies? 48. One was lagging behind, so the one in front squished him and said, “Catch up!”. Dumb Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Don't worry, we're sticking to the family-friendly stuff today so you can share quips with all kinds of company. phone home. 62. The police officer looks in the car and says “You need to take that zebra to the zoo. iStock/Parade. The boss says, “That’s not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality. T. The next day a chicken walks in and plops down on the barstool. Aug 30, 2023 · 3. Apr 18, 2021 · A kids joke tucked in a pocket or lunch is a great way to make a child smile halfway through their day. Get Your Free Icebreaker Questions Bundle People Also Ask These Questions About Icebreaker Jokes Q: What is a good icebreaker joke? A: “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” is one good icebreaker joke. A man goes to the pharmacy and says: I need condoms for my 12-year-old daughter. " Stephen Wright has some great short jokes: "I once bought some used paint. Matthew James Taylor. Stupid Jokes To Tell Your Friends. We’ve no idea why. Good Jokes To Tell Your Friends. The bartender asks, “How are you going to pay for that?”. Reading in Mexico is hard because they don’t have any books nor instructions, just Manuels. “May your weekend be as filled with joy as my plate is with cookies. Mar 21, 2020 · And the best part is that her sense of humour keeps evolving every waking day. Depending on where your humor lies, you can ask her for jokes related to specific things. Apr 29, 2023 · Here are 125 hilarious jokes that are clean and family friendly! Whether you’re looking for material for a joke of the day, entertainment for a road trip, or just wanting to make kids laugh, these jokes are the best! Telling silly jokes is such a childhood rite of passage. If you were born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang. They're good at so many things, from manning the grill to changing a tire to giving you life advice. This joke may contain profanity. “I’m a talking tree!”. May 5, 2023 · Wholesome humor earns belly laughs, and it's appropriate for all ages. The Dec 29, 2023 · Make a noise like a carrot. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" The other guy replies, "You're on the other side!" Jan 16, 2024 · But hay, it’s in my jeans. " The man, says, "oh. Luckily they survived unharmed. The man says “I’m probably too honest. Updated: Apr. If you invite your kids’ friends to their birthday party, you can keep a session of duck jokes. Whether you want Siri to tell you joke or make the AI mad, there are tons of fun things you can ask Siri and just as many hilarious responses. Not just any jokes, but the best of the best. Apr 15, 2024 · Ah, dads. 7 years ago. Oct 6, 2023 · Whether you’re a police officer yourself or simply enjoy a good joke, these witty one-liners and hilarious anecdotes are sure to brighten your day. What's the Difference Between Guts and Balls? Guts is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk meeting your wife at the door with a broom in her hand and asking her if she's still cleaning the house or going out for a ride. So sit back, relax, and get ready for some side-splitting laughter with our collection of 99 funny police jokes! Police Jokes and Puns. Ask her to tell you her favorite joke so you can look like a natural jokester in front of the people important to her. Dec 25, 2023 · 150 best Christmas jokes, including funny Christmas jokes for kids, Santa dad jokes, elf humor, dirty adult jokes, and more hilarious holiday fun. May 11, 2022 · Father's Day jokes that'll prove you inherited Dad's funny bone. Patient: “Doctor, it hurts when I do this. “I didn’t order my own beer; my wife made me promise to give up drinking. RD. If he doesn’t, you won’t know until it’s too late. “Cheers to a team that’s stronger than our coffee. Our explanation page is perfect for anyone who loves to tell jokes but sometimes needs a little help in understanding the punchline. 44. 4. Who asked / nobody asked gained popularity in reaction images in May 1, 2023 · A white Christmas! *** Great joke for adults: whales at sea ***. 30. How do you make a duck sing soul music? Put him in a microwave until his Bill Withers. Why do cows wear bells? Their horns don't work. Alexa, you Mar 9, 2022 · This is why some guys get a reputation for being lazy! 7. “Don’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!”. The duck says, “Just put in on my bill. 5. Doing the business in elevators is great on so many levels. Jan 31, 2023 · On this page, we will share the best ligma jokes, memes and videos, along with popular variant jokes (sugma jokes, grabba jokes etc). m. The Jun 5, 2021 · My manhood is only six inches, but it smells like a foot. So, the assumption/joke that they're switched, when they're not, is not based on an observation. By Reader's Digest Editors. Feb 6, 2024 · Never let them win over you, and protect your pride. why didn't 4 ask out 5? Because 4 was 2². Apr 1, 2024 · 322 Clean Jokes For Kids. " You can ask more specific questions for a good laugh, too. Alexa, are you spying on me? 3. The friends give him props and ask if he got head. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. com. Sorry. Easter and Thanksgiving jokes make holidays fun! Laffy Taffy Jokes are always good. I hope they help you the next time someone asks you this question! Sale. The Best Knock-Knock Jokes the Internet Has to Offer. It isn't a message to them, it is a message to everyone else who might be watching. Here are 33 funny things you can ask Siri for jokes, laughs, and harmless chaos. The woman started screaming "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!" Apr 18, 2022 · Funny Morning Jokes. Doctor: “Let’s hope nothing develops. She tells him, “You need you to go to the store and get a gallon of milk. We already know Amazon's virtual assistant, Alexa, can do the basics Mar 30, 2023 · Alexa Has Some Jokes to Tell. A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat – the male whale recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a year ago. Why don't About. " 61. Amazon. We love Laffy Taffy (banana for sure). "I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies. Have your savage responses ready when someone says ‘nobody asked’ to you. Audible Audiobook. By Laughlore Team Updated on December 19, 2023. While not real Easter eggs, these Alexa Easter eggs are still super fun. This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. The third says, “I’ll have a quarter of a beer Jul 1, 2023 · 50 Cat Jokes. Alexa, are you happy? 2. From friendly jests to playful banter, our compilation has a joke for Explore our carefully curated list of 32 best, hilarious, and clever responses to the question "Did I Ask You?" This article will equip you with perfect comebacks for every situation that demands wit and humor. The owner warns him: "I have a huge Rottweiler and a Parrot, the dog is nice but be careful of the bird!" The handyman shrugs it of and enters the house. They are similar to the phrase “shut up”and may be considered rude to use. Doctor: You’re also Jul 3, 2023 · Use that as an advantage and memorize a few stupid jokes to tell in social settings. Sep 1, 2022 · It feels like black humor is designed to make you giggle at the most inappropriate times. Alexa, live long and prosper. Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter. If you’re here, it means you’re ready to dive into the world of friend jokes. Have you heard about a man who told his family every morning that he was going jogging but never did? It was a running joke. Siri is filled with a bunch of fun/lame jokes for you to indulge in. Just say, "Alexa, tell me a joke. Without a fight the Priest, Rabbi and Atheist leave the bar, heads hanging. Mar 4, 2024 · Deadline: Monday. The guy replies: I couldn’t find it. The first mathematician orders a beer. com, Getty Images. “Then, pretend like nobody said that. Mar 16, 2021 · Inside: A collection of bilingual chistes, knock-knock jokes, puns, and other funny jokes in Spanish. Who Asked, Nobody Asked, and That's Crazy, But I Don't Remember Asking are expressions used to indicate a lack of interest in what another person has said or posted, similar to Cool Story, Bro. Yo mama is so scary, even Voldemort won't say her name. Two tomatoes were walking on the road. This is the ultimate list of funny thing to ask Siri - flirting, rude responses, suitable for kids, questions about pets, movies/TV and more. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. Jul 30, 2023 · 19. 54 / 85. You can ask your partner or dear ones to take care of this laughter session while you get some time off. It’s weird to think that an AI itself can have talents, but whoever programmed Alexa really did pass it on! Here are some of the cool talents that Alexa has when you ask: Alexa, Tell me a haiku Here is an example: “Dark Shadow Swaying, After a big storm rolls through, Dads voice brings Sep 14, 2021 · RD. Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse? A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its a$$ chewed! Joke #2: “St. Alexa, do you see dead people? 4. Once you heard Juan you’ve heard Jamal. As the dust in the air settled, they suddenly could view a mosque ahead. A woman is at her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. Joke #1: “The Dead Nurse”. Alexa will tell you a joke if you simply ask. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. The horse says, “Me neither!”. May 14, 2022 · These funny questions to ask your friends, coworkers—anyone, really!—serve as great ice breakers for a new crowd, but they are also perfect for deepening even the closest relationships. They're work-appropriate, so you can even take them home to your family! And if you'd like to join our funny crew, we're hiring. Alexa, Simon says, “[Insert anything funny that you would like Alexa to say]” 47. Sep 6, 2023 · When it leaves you and never comes back. Halloween jokes guaranteed to have kids and adults cackling with delight. " (Then in a whisper) "I'd like some fish and chips. We’re not saying they’re all gold, or in fact that any of them are – that’s a matter of opinion. A handyman needs to fix something in a house while the owner is away. A guy goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss. May 19, 2023 · The right jokes for your kids can keep them interested and happy while you get the time to do your other work. Swipe up. A Dec 19, 2023 · 125 Fish Jokes. “You can’t cut me down,” the tree protests. 52. One-liner jokes. Did you hear about the corduroy pillows? They're making headlines. 60. 21. The autistic one comes back with 6 gallons of milk and tells her, “They had avocados. In This Article. 45. 20. Ask Jokes - 152 Hilarious Ask Jokes. Whether you’re a die-hard fan of marine life or simply seeking a good chuckle, these jokes are sure This joke may contain profanity. An apple a day really can keep the doctor away At least with option 1 you have given them a small bit of face-saving in that you implicitly acknowledge that they didn't actually ask you; but their overall behavior is uncouth. May 8, 2023 · Aww-tistic. A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a tree. The second orders half a beer. — u/getawayfrommyfood. 🤔. So the driver turned around and took the zebra to the zoo right away. Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends At School. Professor X asks a girl. Yo Mama so old she rode dinosaurs to school. “Take it or leave, that is your choice. " What's the best way to attract a squirrel? Act like a nut Mar 11, 2024 · Here’s a list of 201 jokes that will trigger some giggles among your friend circle. Oct 31, 2022 · We’ve got riddles at all logic levels. Comebacks at Work: Using Conversation to Master Confrontation. Alexa, why is six afraid of seven? 46. Yo Mama’s laugh… is so contagious that the CDC issued a travel ban on anyone who came to her New Year’s Eve potluck. SMH. Written & Illustrated by. So, simply hold down the Siri button and see what new responses you can uncover. 8. That’s why we’ve rounded up a list of the most hilarious friend jokes. upvote downvote report. As they traveled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do. i'd tell you a chemistry joke but i wouldn't get a reaction. There were two white Christian men, John and Mike, whose plane crashed into a desert. Alexa, hasta la vista, baby. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed Sep 20, 2020 · From knock-knock jokes to respectful yo’ mama jokes, Alexa has them all. Oct 3, 2022 · In case you are looking for funny things to ask Alexa, look no further. They are looking for a Mexican actor. My dad only knows masturbation jokes. A guy goes into a lawyer’s office and asks the lawyer: “Excuse me, how much do you charge?”. One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. Originating from a pre- internet era social game, the format was reinvented as a series of creepypasta -style memes in February 2019 and We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Dec 27, 2022 · Alexa’s Hidden Talents. Jul 25, 2023 · This list contains 30+ of the best black jokes about black people (racist, no limits, and dark humor) that you'll ever hear. —– 37. Doctor: “Then don’t do that Mar 8, 2024 · Q: Alexa, find Chuck Norris. Dive into the depths of laughter with an ocean of fish-themed jokes! From witty wordplay to fin-tastic puns, the world of fish jokes is a sea full of humor waiting to be explored. 3. What's a cat's favorite TV show? Claw and Order. MistyCat 3 years ago. These 16 funny, kind, and clean “Yo Mama” jokes are ones you can actually tell your mother. Moley Moley. 31) Doctor: You’re overweight. A driver and a zebra are out for a drive when they get pulled over by the police. Alexa, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. He's got nothing left. A duck walks in to a bar and says, “Give me a beer. “Teamwork makes the dream work. A guy walks into a bar and yells, “All lawyers are assholes. 10. Funny ‘Knock Knock’ Jokes To Tell Your Friends. The best thing about these jokes is that you can tell them anywhere. Nov 29, 2023 · Struggling to make your beau laugh? Try one of these flirty jokes; they’re light-hearted, hilarious, and work like magic! Dec 24, 2022 · Here’s a large collection of the funniest and nastiest dirty jokes that you could even imagine! We have rolled up our sleeves, dug into the trenches of hilarity, and emerged smiling from ear to ear with a collection of dirty jokes that are so racy, so audacious, that they would make a sailor blush with shame. When to Ask: When you're meeting her friends or family for the first time, you'd want to make a good impression. Yo mama is so clumsy, she makes Humpty Dumpty look like a gymnast. So this is a call to all the dark comedy junkies out there! Mar 22, 2023 · Read on, and take your favorite joke to dazzle your coworkers and managers. Jan 6, 2024 · Pro-tip #7: The best jokes relate humor directly to unique aspects of the conference, making them relatable to everyone. Jan 3, 2024 · While Siri can do plenty of helpful things, people want to know how to make Siri cuss or beatbox; they want the funniest things to ask Siri. Be Careful Jokes. Feb 28, 2022 · Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar. Because in AAVE (African American Vernacular English), "ask" is pronounced [æks] but "axe" is not pronounced * [æsk]. No, it’s just regular p*rn, you sick f*ck. He says they always cum in handy. Yo Mama is so big… meaning, she runs the May 1, 2018 · What do you call a duck with a drug problem? A quackhead. Siri may not use AI to be humorous, but she has May 8, 2024 · Patient: “Doctor, Doctor! My son just swallowed a roll of film!”. 16, 2024. Patient: “Finally someone who understands me ”. Jump to: One-liners; Punny jokes; Corny jokes; Knock-knock jokes; Dad jokes Apr 8, 2023 · April 8, 2023 6:30 a. vf tu nw mw fl ey lr rz om xk